The PAUSE Method and Building in Public. Two Ideas That Are Actually the Same Idea.

 Most people make their worst decisions when they are the most overwhelmed. Not because they are bad decision makers. Because they are missing a system. In this episode Kendra Tamika walks through the full PAUSE Method, the five-step leadership framework from her book Pause. Clear. Lead., using her own real pivot this week as the running example. Then she connects it to something bigger: why she is building her channel and her next food brand launch completely publicly starting June first, and why the fear of being seen in the middle of the process is the exact reason to do it anyway. Two ideas. One honest conversation. Something you can use tonight. 

Layered Love Gourmet


Remember Her Publishing


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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello, hello. Welcome to the layered love universe, my layered lovelies. This is Kendrit Tamika. Okay, so today we're gonna start with a question. And I want you to actually sit with it for a second before I keep talking. I want you to think about the last time you made a decision you regretted, not a small one, a real decision, the kind where you reacted instead of responded, where you were overwhelmed, you were exhausted, and you made a call that you knew even while in the midst of making it, you were not, it was not your clearest thinking. Sit in that for a minute and think about that. Most of us can name that moment quickly, right? And if we're honest, we have a pattern around it. Our worst decisions happen in our most stressed states, not because we are bad decision makers, but because we're human. A human brain under pressure is always in survival mode, not in strategic mode. Today I want to give you a system that changes that, and hopefully it helps you. And then I am connecting to something that scared me this week, something I decided to do anyway, and why those two things are actually the same conversation. Here's what happened to me this week. As you heard from yesterday, I had a full contact week planned, a live videos, all of it. And my body said, uh, no. I had a real decision to make in real time, push through or pivot. My reactive instinct was to push through because I had committed to showing up, because missing felt like falling behind. Because the version of me that does not like to disappoint anyone was very loud that morning. But I caught myself and I ran the decision through something. Five steps I am about to teach you. What I found on the other side of those five steps was what was what was that rest was the right call, that protected my energy for the week ahead was a smarter decision, even when it was just me leading myself. That is the method in real life, not just in corporate meetings or big business decisions. On a Tuesday morning, when your body had different agenda, had a different agenda than your calendar. The pause method is a framework. I built this and it is the heart of my book, Pause Clear Lead. Five steps you work through in order for you before you act on anything that matters. So let's go through the letters. P is for pause, stop before you respond, interrupt the audic, interrupt the automatic reactive loop before it runs. For me on Tuesday, that meant sitting down before I opened anything, before I started filming, before I made any decisions, just a moment of stillness, 30 seconds, a deep breath, that is enough. You cannot make a clear decision from a clouded state. The pause creates the clearing. And when I tell you, I have so many experiences that back this up that I've made decisions in a in survival mode. I've made decisions where I had to make a quick decision, but it wasn't the right decision at the time because I wasn't thinking clearly or being strategic about my thought process in that moment, where if I would have just paused, took a deep breath, I would have had a better decision and a better outcome. This has really helped me. The A is assess. What do you actually know for starting? What are you assuming? What information are you missing? So last week on Tuesday, I knew my body was not cooperating. I was assuming that meant I was failing. What I was missing was the honest question: what does pushing through actually cost versus what does resting actually cost? Those numbers are very different when you actually sit down and do the real math. And I know for me, when it comes to listening to my body, it can mean one day of rest, or I'm down and out for a whole week. So I chose to rest. You is for understand. Look at the full picture. What happens if you act? What happens if you do not? Who else will be affected? If I pushed through, I would have created the content from a depleted state. Content made from depletion sounds like depletion. You can hear it in my voice versus me being rested and coming back with something actually worth listening to. One shift, everything about Tuesday, last week Tuesday changed, right? And then we come to E. E is execute. Now act from clarity instead of from chaos, from your full intelligence instead of from your most stressed state. I rested deliberately, and I am here today with two episodes back to back, one Wednesday, one Thursday, with more to give than I would have had if I had pushed through. So five steps work in a corporate meeting, it works in a team conflict, it works on a Tuesday when your body says no and your calendar says yes. Apply it to one decision when you're sitting with your plan for tomorrow tonight, just one. Run it through all five steps before you act. See what changes. Because sometimes you do need to act in the moment. You don't have a moment to rest. So I like to just utilize this to see what can change, what can be benefited, and what can be detrimental in the process. But here's where the two I these two ideas meet. I use the pause method on a much bigger decision than resting on Tuesday. I use it on the decision to build something completely publicly, right? In front of an audience with the numbers shown and the mistakes visible, and none of it hidden until it looks clean and ready. Because that decision scared me. And the things that scare me are usually the things most the things most worth running through five steps before I act on them. Because building in public means people can see your numbers, your subscriber count when it's small, your view count when it's not as impressive, the gap between where you said you were going and where you actually are on any given day. All of it is visible, all of it is real. That is a very vulnerable position to be in, especially for someone who is used to controlling what people see until it's ready. And I know some of you out there are like that too. So I just ran through the method, ran it through the method. I paused, I stopped before I talked myself out of it. I assessed the situation. I know the channel is new, I know the numbers are small, I know the work is real and the method works. Understand, building privately means no accountability, no community form, no community forming in real time, no one watching who might become a layered lovely because they watched me do something hard and kept going. Building publicly means all of that. Shift. I shifted from this is scary because people might see me fail to this is powerful because people will see me try. And trying honestly at the end of the day is more valuable than sometimes succeeding quietly. And then let's execute June 1st, 100 days, full transparency, community invited from day one, the messy middle part where you're figuring it out, where the numbers are not as impressed as if da da da can't talk, where the numbers are not as impressive yet, where you are still becoming the thing that you're trying to build, that middle to me is the most valuable place to let people see you, right? Because the middle is where the real story lives, not the origin story, not the success story, the showing up anyway, middle. That is the part that makes someone watch and think if she can do this all while running a publishing house, working a nine to five, building a food brand, and homeschooling my beautiful neurodivergent princess. All of it. Maybe I can do my thing too. There's a place in this world for all of us. That is what I am offering by doing this publicly. Not a highlight reel, a real one. A real one is worth more. One more thing before I let you go today. I want you to enjoy your Thursday. The 100-day challenge is not just a channel build, it is two things happening publicly at the same time. So we have two threads. Thread one, building this channel to monetization, using the 100 method, real numbers shown every week, no hiding. And then we also have thread two, right? Walking through the bake it branded sell it framework live on camera as I launched something new under the layered love gourmet brand. Every step of the build is visible, every decision explained, a real product launch documented from concept to customer in 100 days. I wrote the bake it branded sell it as a guide for food entrepreneurs who want to build something real from their kitchen, and now you're going to watch me use my own system on a live launch. That is the most honest way I know how to teach. I am not telling you what the product is yet. Tomorrow we will be in the kitchen. You will not get a hint there, but come on and bake with me anyway. I might drop a little hint here or there, but come on and bake with me anyway. So the pause method and building in public are the same idea, wearing different clothes. Kind of like my full publishing line, right? They're all about showing up as who you are and walking in your purpose. Each book, even though they're different genres, different titles, even my fantasy series is about remembering who you are, taking that power and walking towards your destiny. So both are about choosing intention over reaction. Both are about doing the thing that costs something in the short term because you understand what it builds over time. Here's the sentence I want you to take from today. The moment does not arrive, you build it. And the version of you who build it is publicly, imperfectly, honestly, in front of people who needed to watch you try. That version builds something that lasts. Tomorrow we are in the kitchen. Saturday we'll hit the road, you'll go on a road trip with me, and we'll have a little fun event that we'll be participating in. And then Sunday is the last day before everything starts. Because on come Monday, June 1st is day one of 100. All right, I am Kendra Tamika. See you all tomorrow. Thank you for joining me today, my layered lovelies. We are going to make that a thing. That's our community name. So sit with it, embrace it, love it. Because when you come over here, you're a layered lovely. A layered lovely, if I can if I can even say it right. Enjoy the rest of your Thursday. I'll see you all tomorrow.